i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
this just has baby written all over it
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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