You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
