phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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