who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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