Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
We need to rekindle our bromance
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize