Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
