Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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