I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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