Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
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You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
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This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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