It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we still banned from the library?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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