you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
