i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
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