wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
