Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize