I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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