garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
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What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
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The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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