She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
