I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
