I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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