Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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