Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
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