when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
