PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
You need a sexual gate keeper
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
