There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize