I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
