I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Randomize
