i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
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A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
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I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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