how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize