My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
We had sex on a dog bed..
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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