Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize