I think I just saw someone hide a body.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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