I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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