My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
