Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Randomize
