i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Couch. On fire.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
