im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Randomize
