jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
