Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
