roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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