just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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