did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize