He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I wish i was in the wii world.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Im part way to drunk.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
