He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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