You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
well you can't waste a boner
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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