So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize