I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
