i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
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