i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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