Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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