there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize
