and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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