He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
