Kiss
Puke
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
