there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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