i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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