Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
